HOPE and trust are two things which easily crumbles down during the testing times, when there seem no way out and the fires – both spiritual and external surround from all sides, so far the eyes can see, there’s only doom and destruction waiting ahead, the intellect says, ‘you are ruined, it’s over’ but only a believer who perceive from the heart and ignores the current sight, can truly hold on without giving up his faith, that’s Tawakkul.
It can simply be defined as to be hopeful, to have Husn Al Dhan, to hold on, to persevere with complete yaqeen in Al–Wakeel when it’s impossible. To believe with all certainty that your lord will not abandon you, and that his aid will come, no matter what. Any fire, any storm, any drop of water cannot harm you if he doesn’t will it and no one can shield you if he desires to harm you.
Say: “Sufficient for me is Allah; in Him those who trust (i.e. believers) must put their trust.” (Quran, 39:38)
Just like Musa عليه السلام, when he stood right infront of the sea with the Fir’awns army behind ready to attack him. At this point of time, when everyone from Bani Israael panicked and putting their hands down complained to Musa about their current situation, that prophet of Allah with all calmness, composition and belief stated a profound statement, “Kallaaa inna mayiaa rabbi sayahdeen“
[Moses] said, “No! Indeed, with me is my Lord; He will guide me. (Quran, 26:62)
Thats the true definition of Trust, thats what Allah deserves and this is the attitude which He loves, as He stated clearly in his book “Innallaha yuhibbul mutawakkileeen“
“Indeed Allah Loves those, who rely upon Him. (Quran, 3:159)
With ayaahs echoing in her head, Ameerah suddenly wakes up with anguish on her face, and droplets of sweat dripping down her cheeks. She stares at the room in search of the one whose voice she just heard, “that was Aman, it was His voice”, she whispers shakily.
Amidst the quest of trying to ponder over the words just heard and comprehend its meaning, she flaps her eyelids constantly.
As the sight becomes clear, assuring her that he is gone, she throws herself back on the pillows, comforting herself that it was a dream, a much needed one.
She knew Aman is resting peacefully in His grave; it’s been a year now. It’s often that Allah allows him to visit her in the form of dreams when she needed them the most, as if he knew what she was going through.
Aman always said,
Death and distance can’t separate you, or weaken the bond of those whose trails have begun in the Duniya, with their destinations set as Jannah. Souls that complete one another and love sincerely from the deepest chords of their heart survives, and their love flourishes forever through memories, they are kept alive in Dua’as and the eagerness to meet at the gates of Jannah eternally kindles in the hearts.
Tomorrow was a big day for Ameerah, she was one of the speakers at the buzzing Young Muslimah Event, titled – “Tawakkul – An Unwavering Faith”
She had her speech ready but it lacked that usual sparkle which made it hard hitting. After splashing cold water across her pale face, she comes back to her writing desk and begins to reflect on what just happened, to pen down the gems that would just pop out any moment. Thinking about Aman and time spend with him always gave her strength, peace and beautiful lifelong lessons.
Probably, she could just narrate one of them, tomorrow for the crowd that awaits her, she thought to herself.
Swiftly moving down the memory lane, Ameeraah quickly scribbled her thoughts across the white paper, pouring her heart out. It was necessary for her to sometimes put down those emotions into writing because it acted like a stress buster, no one could lessen her pain but she could navigate it and use it for Allahs sake.
She slowly began reflecting over the past, as if narrating it to herself, “When Aman comes to my mind, I believe, he was a beautiful soul wrapped with a tinge of innocence and at the same time was the man who didn’t fear the world yet cried to his Rabb every night, with me behind his back. I couldn’t imagine or pray for a better companion, he was just so apt, perfectly filling in the missing puzzles of my life and the soul. One of the incidents, that proved his love and faith in Ar-Rahmaan, made my heart sink down in gratitude.”
* * *
Life was beautiful since we tied the knot by the mercy of Al-Kareem, but our already thriving home turned into a blissful Heaven when, my little daughter Taniya, stepped into this world. The new bud which was now blooming into a flower, watching her grow was the most beautiful experience for Aman as a father. Being a dad to already 2 other kids didn’t make it less exciting for him. He adored his daughters, and Taniya was the new plant in his garden after more than fifteen long years, which he cherished all the time and thanked Allah for this Amazing gift often.
Kids grow right under our nose, and we wouldn’t even realize some times, SubhaanAllah! The wheel of time stirred its magic as usual by running ahead, days passed into months and months into years and now Taniya – the little princess of daddy turned 9.
The tragedy began, turning the tables completely when one day, Taniya suddenly fell terribly ill, it was freaky. Initially we thought it was something minor, after all headaches and chest pains aren’t something out of the world. So we immediately rushed to the hospitals, and from here began our regular visits to the hospitals in hopes of finding out what’s exactly wrong.
Every day would begin with some other pain in different organ of her body, sometimes stomach, throat, legs or anything. The doctors themselves were confused but still treated her, the pain grew fierce in the nights; her screams would awaken the neighbor’s sometimes. She grew weak, pale and exhausted with every passing day. She missed her schools; she couldn’t play or watch TV, but only grieved in her little bed tossing from one side to another.
Aman was broken along with the rest of us, but still acted strong; he couldn’t see the apple of his eye going through something like this which was so unbearable. He turned to Ar-Rahmaan, pleading him in the darkness of the nights to cure her, aid her and help the docs understand the cause of it. He kept changing Hospitals in the hopes of her recovery.
It was a month now that Taniya had been suffering and the entire house was mourning for the calamity that came as a piercing stroke, destroying the cheerful smiles.
Early before the dawn, Aman stood infront of his Creator, with tears in his eyes, and a firm trust in his heart for the One who never abandons his slaves. He knows it’s a test, and the answer lies only with Al-Wakeel. Resting his case to his creator, he begins to weep in his sujood,
“Oh Allah, to you belong everything, you own this world and the Hereafter. Oh the one, without whose permission even a drop of water doesn’t fall from the skies, set of flowers refuse to bloom and even a single breath doesn’t escape our lungs, yaa Arhaamar Rahimeen! Bring ease to my home Ya Khair Al Maakireen.
My daughter is suffering yaa rab, I am helpless, I can do nothing to reduce her pain and none of us can.
Yaa Shaafi, you have the perfect cure, healing begins from you, have rehmaa on us ya Raheem, guide me on how to deal with this phase of my life, I am weak yaa Qawi, and you are Al – A’zeez, grant me victory over my weaknesses, bless me with beautiful patience and let my yaqeen in you thrive. Let the shaytaan not ruin the rewards by making me lose my faith. Ya Haadi! Guide my steps and make it easy for my daughter. I do not fear what the doctor’s say, for I have only relied on you ya Wakeel“
When his faint cries finally came to a halt, he swiftly arose back from his sujood, read the tashaahud and ended his Salaah. My heart swelled with pain and love for this man whom I loved deeply only for his sake.
After the salaah, Aman said he could feel the peace all around, with hope and complete trust on his Ultimate trustee, he sat there on the Sajjaadaah pondering over the ayaahs of Qura’n.
His morning reflective period was over with the going of the Adhaan, He left home quickly to answer the call of prayer. After the Salaah, one of his regular Masjid buddy called out, and after their normal conversations, he inquired about Taniya that if he had tried Ruqyaa or consulted any Imaam, because it could even be the case of Sihr/Black Magic or Evil Eye.
Now that was like a deafening bell ringing in his heart, immediately he looked up exclaiming “Ya Ramaan, that’s surely you!”
Aman was amazed at how come this didn’t click his mind because the docs still weren’t aware of what really was wrong. The ruqya water anyway was being consumed by Taniya regularly now, Aysha, her elder sibling has been making sure that she takes it plus the Quraanic ayaahs were also blown from head to toe but consulting Imaam was a thing he didn’t do.
Now he had no idea whom to consult, because there were many people who don’t even consider Ruqyashari’yah but have their own tactics involving shirk and Bid’ah. At the end of the day all they do is just simply gulp down hoards of money in the name of granting cure. It would be so hard to even recognize the right from the wrong, he was terrified at the possibility that his friend was guiding him towards, but his belief in Ar-Rahmaan was firm, and ‘Hasbeeyallaahu laailaa ha illa huwa alaihi tawakkaltu wa huwa rabbul Arshil Adheem‘, was all that escaped his lips.
After a week of carefully scanning the city in the hunt of the right Imaam, there were no results, either the people were travelling for Dawaah purposes or couldn’t get appointments, or one or the other hindrance forced him to meet the failure.
The family prayed for miracles, Taniya’s health was deteriorating day after day, she was getting absurd dreams and pain in her lower back grew intensely, with medicines not working, she survived the days only on zamzam which was Alhamdulillaah available and even reaching us from places we couldn’t even imagine, SubhaanAllah!
All these were giving clear signs, affirming and pointing in the direction that his friend mentioned, Aman now knew that it was a case of Sihr, and the reality just tore him apart, giving him shivers down his spine. How could someone not spare a 9 year old kid?
Wallaaaahu Akbar! Laahawwaalaa walaa quwataa illaa billah, He exclaimed, collapsing on his rocking chair.
I didn’t have the himmah to look into his eyes or talk to him because I was already shattered, but I was proud and overwhelmed by his faith, He broke but declined to give up. The memory of him holding my hand and speaking those divine words, still lingers in my heart, He comforted me with a blazing confidence in his eyes, as if he was assured, that no harm would be done and Taniya would be cured, by Allah’s will.
“Ameeraaah, Allah didn’t forsake us, He is lighting our paths, Wallaahi, I can feel it. Everyone is tested in different ways and it’s our turn now. Taniya will be back, perfectly awesome health wise once we clear this test.
Remember, HE returned Ismail to Ibraahim after he passed his test of Tawakkul, after there was no doubt that there is nothing more beloved than Allah, and the heart testifies “laailaaha illa Allaah” sincerely. We are no exception, we have to persevere and endure this with patience for our Jannah Ya haayaaty.
And about the Sihr thing, why are you worrying so much? We will fight it with Quraan, which he sent down as a mercy and cure. You will be amazed by the power of every ayaah that will turn the shayaateens into ashes, they will fail to bring even a scar on my kid’s body, I promise you Love. We will win this battle through the Quraan and Tawakkul In Ar-Rahmaan Inshallah”
* * *
It shook her very chord from within, with the nostalgic waves overpowering her, Ameeraah puts down the pen and decides to delve in the words which once soothed her ailing heart. Gasping for breath and allowing the feeble emotions to come out, she puts her palms on her lips in order to control her cries. But she fails and gives in, soon bursting into tears, sobbing bitterly.
The loss was irreplaceable and the place emptied wasn’t the one that could be taken by any. Aman was one of a kind, a HERO in her eyes, and an absolutely fantabulous Father, who knew and differentiated well the real world from the surreal one.